The victimizer can be very sneaky, and it is not always obvious when it is taking over. We get so used to it, it is like background noise that we no longer notice. In other words, we don’t necessarily hear this voice that is criticizing us, or telling us why we don’t deserve to be happy, or that is comparing us to others. Most often, when we are feeling lethargic, depressed, unmotivated, irritable, or generally feeling less than alive and well, we can find a victimizer who is running the show. It is important to note that I am not talking about embodied feelings of sadness, grief or anger; these feelings, along with joy, can be very enlivening when one takes responsibility for one’s own feelings.

So how do we become aware of this victimizer when it is not so obvious?  Here is something you can try, next time you’re feeling in any way depressed or not as alive as you would like…

Start by saying something to yourself such as, “I am terrific. I love everything about myself. I love the way I look. I love and appreciate my intelligence, my creativity and the way I relate to others. I am a unique, lovable and worthwhile person.” After you say this to yourself, notice how you feel. If you feel better after saying this, that is wonderful; it means you are able to take in support in that moment. If objections come up, or if any part of you denies that any of this is true, that is most likely the voice of the inner victimizer. Once you become aware of this, you can work with the victimizer in a number of ways. I will post more on ways to work with this energy in the future, however for now you can use the “Working with the inner victimizer” exercise I have already posted.